nothing new to tell and nothing else to say

the end

last night was fun with carefree reckless abandon. i ran to the rg drank a beer, ran to the d-pot watched blackmarket, ran to rics and saw knaw play [and they were really fucking good, but they always are] and then ran back to the d-pot to find people and then went to "secret" squat party in an abandon warehouse and saw the end of night crash. everyone was out last night so it made it even more fun.

tonight however i miss not having a boyfriend. there's nothing to do and everyone is either staying home or in couples and then i'm like ohhh that's right i don't have one because he cheated on me. fuck fuck fuck. i'm crying right now so it's making typing hard. i haven't cried in ages. just stupid memories of how he used to let me put my hands under his arms because they get really cold in winter. trying not to think about it.

sometimes the memories are good because they remind me of why i'm lucky to be single. no more constant lies to my face. [he said he couldn't talk to me but if he wasn't always lying then i would have never gotten angry... dickhead] no more waiting around for him to show up or not show up at all. no more him forgeting everything that was important to me. no more him being a fuckhead and me feeling like shit about myself but then staying with him because i thought it was love.

you know how there's that saying "love never means never having to say your sorry" and i figured it was because if you love soemone then you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt them but you can't hurt someone you don't love and the more people love eachother the more they hurt eachother. clearly i'm confused.

in good news i have a new crush on a boy. he's little, half-asian and so damn cute. i want to give him big hugs.

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